End a relationship via WhatsApp? Just stop contacting each other? Breaking up a partnership is not easy for anyone. You're also wondering, "How do I break up?". Then be sure to read on.
It's over! Is there a way to tell the future ex-partner nicely? How do I break up without causing additional pain to the boyfriend?
Ending a relationship is always associated with pain. However, you don't need to take out the club for the relationship breakup.
Always remember that you once loved your friend.
Refrain from being mean and hurtful. We tell you how to draw the line fairly and with style.
Table of contents
Breaking up always happens in several steps. Before you really go through with it, you should think about these points again.
How do I break up?
- Be very sure that you want to end it
- Find the right place
- Choose a good time
- You need to know exactly what you are going to say
- Have a fair conversation
How to break up - What you should think about in advance
Unfortunately, there is no patent remedy for how you should end the relationship. Therefore, we can not give you a 1 to 1 guide.
However, we will show you helpful tips and advice that can serve as a guide.
However, before you ring in the end of the relationship, be sure to give it some thought.
That is why arguing in the relationship is important!
To break up or not?
Before you worry about HOW, you should consider whether you really want to end the relationship.
The desire to break up always develops over time. It is a process that does not happen overnight.
You do not know exactly whether you want the separation? Then a pros and cons list can help you. What speaks for and against the relationship?
Exactly these arguments are also important for the actual separation. This way you can be sure that you are doing the right thing.
So think carefully beforehand whether you want to break up or not. The end of a relationship is not so easy to undo.
Should I break up? Find out here!
What place you choose to break up
You've made the decision to end the relationship? Good. Then it's now a matter of finding the right location.
Do not choose a place where you have already spent many pleasant hours with your partner.
You want to break up at your place? Not the best idea either. You'll be in your safe zone, to be sure. However, it's hard to get your boyfriend to leave if the conversation gets heated.
The best place is a neutral place. A park bench or a quiet café. In no case a crowded place. Because a breakup is often associated with tears.
In addition, it can be very humiliating for the partner if everyone can listen to you and other people notice the relationship breakdown.
Here's how to tell if your relationship is on the rocks!
When you break up
There is no ideal time to break up with your boyfriend. A breakup is almost always associated with anger, sadness and anxiety.
Don't delay the breakup talk forever.
You will then constantly ask yourself "How do I end it? Why haven't I finished it yet?" In short, breaking up becomes more and more exhausting.
So don't postpone the conversation unnecessarily. The sooner you get it over with, the sooner you can both start working through your feelings.
You are sure that you want to end the relationship? Then ask your partner as soon as possible for a clarifying and calm conversation.
Are you unhappy in the relationship? This is how you recognize it!
What you will say
Finding the right words during a breakup is always difficult. Many women tend to find flowery paraphrases.
But in the end, that doesn't accomplish anything except a lot of confusion.
So that you don't unnecessarily torment your counterpart, it makes sense to make your position clear right at the beginning. "It's over!" or "I'm breaking up with you."
In this way, you also make it clear to your partner that you know what you are doing and that there is no room for discussion. Then you explain factually how you came to this decision.
Of course, phrases like "Is that final?" or "Give us a second chance!" may follow. You should answer this confidently and calmly. Show your counterpart that your decision is final.
How do I break up - The implementation in 6 points
Once you've thought about where you're going to say what and when, it's time to put it into practice.
Every breakup is unique. What is right for one relationship does not necessarily apply to all partnerships. That's why we've put together some of the most important pieces of advice to help you break up.
1. stay fair!
In every relationship there are beautiful and not so beautiful moments. When you break up, don't dwell on the negative aspects.
Make sure you remain fair. It's best to ask yourself, in everything you say, how you would react if your partner said it to you.
For the right choice of words, it can make sense if you talk to yourself beforehand. This way you can prepare yourself for any possible reaction.
With these 10 tips you can save your relationship!
2. be honest and stand by your feelings!
You don't want to hurt your still-boyfriend? That's fine. However, you should always be honest about your motives for breaking up.
So be sure to stick to the truth. This is the only way your partner can really understand why you want to break up. Own up to your feelings and also tell them if you have fallen in love with someone else.
3. be open!
Very few people will simply accept a separation. There will inevitably be inquiries.
Be open about the reasons for the love breakup or if your still-boyfriend can't understand the arguments.
Openness is an essential part of breaking up properly. So don't make a speech and then run away, but explain your point of view objectively. Even if it hurts.
Also explain to him how long you have been asking yourself the question "How can I break up?" and how hard it is for you.
4. break up necessarily in private!
How do I break up? In any case, always in private! No one wants to be dumped by a text message or a phone call, right?
Even if it is unpleasant: a personal conversation is the only acceptable way for the relationship to end. Meet with your new partner and tell him what's going on. Your relationship deserves a dignified ending.
Am I incapable of relationship?
5. have a calm conversation!
Besides WHAT you say, HOW you say it is also crucial. After all, the tone makes the music.
Speak in a calm voice without barking.
Emphasize that you are absolutely sure that you want the relationship to end. But always pay attention to the level of conversation.
6. don't list all the things your partner did wrong!
When you separate, the person you are leaving is at a certain disadvantage. Therefore, it is even more important that you do not bombard him with reproaches.
Do not list his mistakes, but keep up the level. Argue factually and not below the belt. Otherwise, a breakup conversation ends very quickly in a quarrel. Which makes the whole thing mega complicated. After all, you surely have stuff lying with him and he with you.
End the relationship your way but always without reproach, even though you may be disappointed or angry.
What is the best way to break up when...
The end of the relationship is coming. There are certain situations where it is necessary to proceed differently than in a "normal" separation.
... he scares me
You've already experienced angry outbursts, domestic violence or even abuse in your relationship? Then it's perfectly okay for you to separate from a safe distance.
Breaking up via WhatsApp or phone is actually an absolute no-go, but it's perfectly fine in these situations.
You can also turn to a trusted person for this. This person can support you during the relationship breakup and, if necessary, also protect you. You can also get anonymous information and ask for help at the help hotline for women.
... he does not accept my decision
You think your partner will not accept the separation? Then you should arm yourself with good arguments in advance.
You can also write down the reasons beforehand and remind yourself of them. In this way, you can communicate your decision more clearly without letting your counterpart change your mind.
... we live together
A shared apartment is always a delicate matter when it comes to the relationship breakup. Therefore, before the breakup talk, ask friends or family if you can stay with them in the meantime.
This way you both can get enough distance for your feelings. It is best to pack a bag beforehand and prepare for a goodbye.
After the initial shock, you can then sit down together and discuss how and who should continue to live where.
... he is prone to outbursts of anger
In most cases, you will be able to assess how your new partner will deal with your decision before the breakup talk.
Do you think it will come to blows because he's prone to tantrums anyway? Then you should take precautions. Inform someone that you are going to announce the end of the relationship.
This person can then either wait for you outside or check on you at an agreed time.
How you should not break up
Now you know how to end the relationship. However, there are some no-goes that you should absolutely refrain from.
Do not break up by phone call, text message or WhatsApp. Meet with your boyfriend and explain to him in private why you want to break up. However, if you are afraid of your partner, you were not really together or he lives too far away, then it may be okay to break up impersonally.
Make sure you choose the right location for the breakup talk. It should not be a completely crowded café, where everyone can hear what is going on. Not even between door and door. Make sure you find a place where you are not alone, but where you can still talk about everything in peace.
The conversation should not lead to mutual accusations. Argue objectively and without shouting. If the situation threatens to escalate, you should definitely get up and leave. Only when you have gained enough distance should you sit down at the table again.
Our conclusion
How do I end it? Well, yes: Definitely with a lump in my throat. Because ending a relationship isn't easy for anyone. With an honest, open and calm conversation you are on the right side.
However, always give enough thought to "Should I break up or not?" before the breakup conversation. A breakup can happen quickly but can rarely be undone.
Have courage in ending your relationship openly and honestly!
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