A happy relationship is based on these 8 pillars

On which factors a happy relationship is based and how you can finally lead a good partnership, you can read here.

What does this old couple actually do differently from me? They've been married to each other for 50 years, a woman in front of me at the supermarket checkout tells me.

After paying, the two walk hand in hand toward the exit. And me? I stand there dumbfounded.

How could that possibly be? You have been in a happy relationship for so many years. And me? Well, it doesn't really want to work out for me.

That's why I ask myself: What is important for a joyful togetherness? How can I inspire love? And what is the secret for a happy relationship?

I set out to find answers and have compiled the most important findings for you here.

Since the advent of singles and dating sites on the Internet, things have become more and more complicated. You would think that you could find love quickly on the Internet. Unfortunately, this is really difficult.

It's a crisis? With these 10 tips you can save the relationship!

Before we meet, we check his or her appearance, hobbies, education and interests in detail. If something doesn't fit, the potential partner is immediately banned from the smartphone with a quick swipe.

But can a happy relationship even begin like this?

Yes, say many. Because it's not about how you get to know each other, but how you behave after a few months of togetherness.

What is a happy relationship?

A happy relationship is not something you do from the beginning. It is the result of a development that lasts a long time. Love is always hard work.

Of course, Hollywood movies don't tell us that. In them, everything is always vain bliss and sunshine.

We all know that this is not the case in reality. Nevertheless, you can have a relationship that is characterized by love. We'll tell you how.

Here come the 8 pillars for a happy relationship.

Why satisfaction is the key to a good relationship

Only when you are satisfied with yourself, you can transfer this to the partnership. When you are satisfied, you can have a happy relationship.

If you want to be satisfied together, you need a mix of trust, fun, spontaneity and willingness to compromise.

If you are unhappy at work, it can quickly happen that you take these problems home with you. And ultimately even break up your relationship.

Tip: Do you know the book "What happy couples do right"? In it you'll find the most important recipes for a fulfilling partnership. You can order the advisor from Amazon.

Why trust and security are so important

Secrets are poison for any relationship. They stand between you like a transparent wall. Although you can't see them, the secret separates you.

Because where there are secrets, there is always mistrust. You don't trust your partner to handle it. You make up excuses. Then we come to lying.

For example, before you start an affair, doesn't it make sense to talk to your partner about what's wrong with your relationship?

The affair is not guaranteed to save the relationship. You can enter into it even after the breakup.

Do you know what relationship phase you are in right now?

How to find the right mix of closeness and distance

Every couple has the need to spend time together. And at the same time to have free space. This is enormously important for a happy relationship.

Each partner should have the opportunity to live out both closeness and distance.

So you should also spend time apart.

You want to spend time together and he wants to go out with the guys again? To have a happy relationship you need respect, trust and willingness to compromise.

Let him have his outing and just plan something yourself too.

Listen to your feelings and needs. But don't put your needs ahead of your partner's. You are a team. Sometimes you compromise, sometimes he does.

The secret of a well-functioning relationship is to get the mix of closeness and distance right.

This is how easy it is to bring more pep into your long-term relationship!

Why acceptance is important for a happy relationship

Did you leave the cupboard open again? He didn't put the dishwasher away properly again or left his socks lying around?

Everyone has their quirks. You as well as your partner.

If you don't want your relationship to end bitterly, start by focusing on tolerance and acceptance.

That doesn't mean you have to tolerate and accept everything.

But accept your partner and his peculiarities. Everyone wants to be accepted as he is.

That is why arguing in the relationship is important!

If you have to listen to constant criticism and lectures, your eyes will soon roll over. By the way, this is the first step for a failed partnership.

But as I said, not both of you have to accept everything. But keep in mind that the standard you set for your partner also applies to you.

Does an argument over an open toothpaste tube really pay off? Better: You just buy your own toothpaste and let him do what he wants with his :)

You can also agree that you close the cabinet and he puts the dishwasher away. Everyone is happy.

Know your own weaknesses and try to work on them for the sake of yourself and the relationship.

13 Signs that you should end your relationship immediately!

Why it is so important to accept mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes or says something that he may not have meant.

If you want to have a happy relationship, you should not be too resentful. Forgive small mistakes and don't take it so badly.

After an argument, you should approach each other with respect and also be able to laugh about the situation. In most cases, the little thing wasn't worth a fight, was it?

Apologize consciously when someone has gone too far. Words can also be hurtful. Have clarifying conversations, but don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

Tip: Understanding men is sometimes not so easy. Maybe the book "Understanding men - 21 ways for a happy relationship" will help you. You can buy it on Amazon.

Why communication makes a good relationship

Sounds logical, doesn't it? But those who lead a happy partnership actually communicate differently than quarrelsome people.

Poor communication is the downfall for most couples.

Many divorcees indicate that they would like to change the way they communicate in their next relationship.

If you want to be happy with your partner, you learn to find a system that works for the relationship. This can vary from couple to couple.

If you quarrel frequently, couples therapy is also worthwhile. In many cases, there are only small things behind the supposedly huge problem.

That's why you're jealous all the time!

Tip: Do you know the card game "Unashamedly Happy?" This is a game where you can talk about relationship topics in a playful way. This makes working on your relationship fun! :) You can order the card game at Amazon.

What role harmony plays in a happy relationship

We all know it: sometimes you could fly off the handle at the slightest little thing. Your partner looks at you with wide eyes and doesn't know why you're going so high right now.

Before you fly off the handle, take a deep breath. Stop and think about where the real problem lies.

It is guaranteed not to use a coaster on the coffee table.

Maybe you're very hot-tempered because of work, you're under a lot of stress, or you're just in a bad mood for no reason. In any case, your partner has nothing to do with it.

What do you want to achieve with that hot-tempered attitude? Do you just want to vent your bad mood? That leads nowhere.

Therefore, you should approach the situation objectively and calmly. A happy relationship is characterized by the fact that you do not accuse him when you are in a bad mood.

Always argue from your own point of view and tell him how you feel about the situation.

You cannot influence his behavior. But you have a great deal of influence on your own. And as the saying goes, what goes around comes around.

You're pissed off about work? Work it out. Take a boxing class or go for a big run. It works wonders!

Why no happy relationship is possible without proof of love

When we have lived together for many years and see each other every day, everyday life soon creeps in. We see our partner as quite natural.

With small tokens of love you can give attention to your partner. They don't have to be big expensive gifts.

A little something without notice will do. Maybe you know his favorite candy bar or other snack he loves? Buy it and put it in his jacket or backpack. He's guaranteed to be happy when he finds the surprise at work.

Ode how about a little note on which you leave a little message? Put the note in his pocket. Well, he will make eyes :)

Why compliments make you happy

Did you know that it takes 9 compliments to make up for 1x complaining?

So if you feel like complaining, you need to hand out compliments over the next few days to make your partner feel good again.

Saying a kind word to your partner is important. It strengthens the relationship, gives security and puts you in a good mood.

When we see that someone is happy about our compliment, it makes us happy ourselves.

It's the little things that bear praise. He made breakfast? A new shirt you really like? And cleaned up a bit while you were in the bath? Wonderful! So go ahead and tell him that!

However, compliments should really be meant seriously. If something is not right, we notice that quickly. Then the distrust is great the next time.

Why a good relationship needs variety

Just break out of your everyday life for a change. How about spontaneously taking a day off during the week, exploring the city, going to the sea or hiking up a mountain?

Be open to shared experiences. A happy relationship needs exactly these "we moments".

If you have a good stomach, you can take it to the amusement park. Supposedly, the feelings of happiness that we emit when riding a roller coaster also have a positive effect on the relationship. But only if your stomach can handle it :D

4 factors that make a happy relationship

According to psychological knowledge, the prospect of a happy relationship depends on only 4 factors. They show us whether we really fit together.

These are very basic attitudes and perceptions. They shape us already in childhood and decide whether we can have a good relationship with our partner or not.

If these 4 factors match for the most part, then love can last a lifetime.

What you were taught

Did you know that your parents and siblings have an enormous influence on whether or not you can ever have a happy relationship?

In childhood you experience a lot of things that shape you throughout your life. Some seem logical in retrospect, others happen subconsciously.

Typical examples are: The general worldview, religious, social and political values.

What you have learned

For a relationship full of security and happiness is also crucial in which direction you have developed yourself.

Depending on your job, school or university, you have certain interests. At the same time, you have subconsciously developed a profile of requirements for people in your environment.

For a happy relationship, the couple must find each other intelligent, work together on solutions, and be able to judge people and situations by similar standards.

This is also the reason why people with high school diplomas prefer a partner with high school diplomas. And academics are usually with academics.

If you have fulfilled points 1 and 2, you are not far away from a happy partnership.

How you feel without your partner

Each couple must define the right mix of closeness and distance for themselves. There are couples who prefer more closeness and those who need a lot of space.

In any case, you should tick the same. If you love your freedom more than anything, like to go out with the girls and he would rather spend the evening with you on the couch, it gets complicated.

Imagine your partner is away for a few days on business. You come in the evening in the apartment and there is worst chaos. He has overslept again. Are you angry, really angry? Or do you have to smile because this is absolutely typical for him?

If you have to smile and then later in the evening even miss him, then you are very likely already in a happy partnership. :)

How you feel with your partner

Observe a little bit how you deal with each other. Do you have a lot of fun and the same sense of humor? Are there mostly positive feelings involved in your togetherness? Do you like to do things together? Are you on the same page about sex? Are you proud to introduce him?

If you can answer most of the questions with a very clear yes, then you will have a happy relationship.

Our conclusion

A happy partnership is characterized by respect, humor, freedom and understanding for each other.

Every relationship has its ups and downs. Anyone in a happy relationship knows that not everything is always bliss. And that you can work and grow together with your partner.

All the love continues! :)

To browse further:

• Heartbreak without a relationship - how to get through your broken heart!
• The best advent calendars for couples 2023
• The dark side of love: how to survive a narcissistic toxic relationship!

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