Ever dated online? No? Then it's time. We dare the self-experiment: Tinderella on trial. These are my experiences with online dating and the 18 most common types of men.
Dating online is en vogue. At least for many who have a smartphone and are bored, it seems to me. Very few admit to looking for a steady partner. "Why do I do online dating? - It's just kind of fun," is the most frequent answer I get to the question "Why actually?
But because second-hand information is okay but nothing more, I decided to investigate the topic of "online dating" myself.
What apps are there anyway?
Before you can even start "dating," you need to find the right app for the job. And there are many ways to date on the Internet.
It doesn't matter whether it's free/chargeable, a singles exchange or an intuitive app. I then focused on the apps, more specifically the app "Lovoo". Of course, there are plenty of others like Tinder, Badoo or Zoosk. The advantage of these apps? They are simple, fast and shyness is no longer a problem. It's all online anyway.
What does Lovoo offer?
After I set up my profile (and it took me under 5 minutes), I checked out the possibilities. There's a live radar that shows date-wishers in your area. This sounded more like stalking to me, so this feature was turned off and not touched again.
Next I tried the "match game". It's actually quite simple, you get a picture of a guy- do you like him you swipe to the right, otherwise the poor guy is swiped to the left and you never see him again (Did you possibly swipe away the love of your life? Tragic, better watch out next time :D)
After wiping back and forth was quite fun for a while, I started receiving notifications. And that's when it all started.
After I had a few more or less profound "conversations" behind me, I was annoyed. And really. You write with about 10 guys at the same time and always the same. At the end of the experiment, I really needed a break from the cell phone.
The most common pickup line: "Hey, how are you?" is still very harmless. It's not uncommon to be offered a 3-way or asked for your e-mail in order to send - let's call it "naughty" - pictures. And of course, the typical pickup lines are not to be missed.
18 types of men you're guaranteed to meet while online dating:
Many of these types of men you recognize already at the first sentence or at the photo. Others after the first meeting. But whether you choose Tinder, Lavoo, or any other form of online dating, you're guaranteed to find these guys:
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The pain in the ass
Hey.
Hello.
hey.
Ignoring doesn't help at all, he just tries again in the next half hour, maybe the lady of your heart has changed her mind? A tip to the gentlemen: If she also ignores the second Hey, please let it stay. It's better that way. -
The "I want to marry you right now" guy
Yes, secretly we all want a beautiful wedding. But do you have to ask me that right after 5 minutes of chatting? -
The "send me pictures" guy
Preferably naked: No.
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The burdock
What are you doing today, why don't you write back, what are you doing tomorrow, why do you need so long to write? ...
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The "I live for the gym" guy
No matter if you are a wannabe pumper or a serious bodybuilder. Only pictures in which you sit with torn shirt in the gym interest no one. What is too much is too much.
Self-absorbed guys are annoying. We have already clarified that. But when they stand in front of the mirror for hours, massaging and creaming their muscles, the pain threshold is reached. You should give this type of man a wide berth - the muscleman has no time and no interest in a relationship. Where do you think his muscles come from? They are the result of hours of training! -
The "I don't cheat on my girlfriend" guy
No, clearly: she knows that you write me all the time and want to meet me. Have you ever looked on FB, here you reveal your love to your girlfriend. It's not possible.
-
The I Love Selfies Guy
Selfies everywhere. Facebook. Instagram. Snapchat Story. Oh man, how full of yourself can you get?
A man who loves himself so much has no time for a relationship. -
The "My beard is the greatest" guy
Yes, your hippster beard is great. We admit that too. But you don't need to make such an effort for your beard.
Don't get us wrong: you don't have to be clean-shaven. A beautiful and well-groomed three-day beard certainly has its charms. But please don't have hair down to your knees. -
The hairy
Natural hair growth everywhere? No, thanks. Hair on the ears, out of the ears, on the nose, out of the nose, monobrows, hair on the shoulders and back you should urgently bring into shape. After all, we don't want to snog a grizzly.
By the way, superfluous fur makes older, somehow unsexy and reminds the photo above ;) -
The outfit sin
Tennis socks, striped shirt with checkered pants or even Hawaiian shirt? Yes, you can also encounter such specimens in online dating.
This is very off-putting. In online dating, unfortunately, there is no second chance for the first impression. -
The "kitchen is women's business" type
Honestly? I don't have to say anything more about that now, do I? You can already find out his attitude to this topic after the first few sentences. For example, when he asks you about your cooking skills.
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The gangsta
Golden chains, a big watch, white undershirts, a cap - no, that's not from a movie. You can really find this type of man in online dating. Dear men: If you are so much into jewelry, give it to us instead ;)
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The extremely adventurous
Skydiving, bungee jumping, hiking the very highest mountain in the area or climbing the Eiffel Tower? This guy has done it all and is always looking for an adrenaline rush.
It's good to be adventurous. But does it really always have to be so extreme? -
The eco fan
He is enlightened, wants to improve world and loves yoga. These wannabe Buddhas are often more strenuous than any other type of man. He will try to convince you to change your diet and walk instead of driving - even many kilometers. For the environment. Think about it carefully.
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The mummy's boy
He has been an adult for a long time, but still lives in Hotel Mama? Does he have his laundry washed, ironed and cooked for? Don't do that! He sees you as a substitute for his mother. Guess who is going to take over all these great tasks from now on?
Nevertheless, his mother still calls the shots. Constant calling, spontaneous control visits of the dear Mrs. Mama are still the pleasant things with this type of man. -
The "My success makes me sexy" guy
For him, career takes precedence over everything. But if your sweetheart spends most of his time in the office, that's anything but sexy. If he only talks about work and can't tell you about his hobbies, you should get suspicious. You want to be his lady of the heart and not his new work colleague. -
The "If I Could I Would Marry My Buddy" Guy
There are plenty of them: men for whom their buddies are more important than anything else. The end of the day, the weekend, holidays - everything is already planned and even the vacation is only with these guys.
A date for two? Impossible! He will always take his buddies with him. If you're lucky, you'll also be allowed to come and watch soccer. -
He loves his Playstation and TV
After a long day you are looking forward to spending some quality time together? With this type of man you are wrong here! If you meet such a guy in online dating, you are really unlucky. Because he spends most of his time in his new game or a series.
If you want to talk to him, you can sometimes get a "psssssst I can't hear anything like that".
My conclusion:
Online dating is uncomplicated and even fun for a while. You get lots of compliments. But I can't imagine finding the man of my dreams that way.
If you're not in a great mood and just want to lie on the couch while 20 guys assure you how pretty you are, then online dating is certainly the right thing to do. And probably many people have already found each other.
But honestly? That's not really mine. I prefer the old-fashioned version. Because you can only see what makes someone tick face to face. You get distracted by the many inquiries and can hardly concentrate on a single "conversation". But you will also encounter these types of men in "real" life. Fortunately, tastes are different. Remember: For every pot there is a lid :)
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