Being happy? Researchers claim that it can be trained and that every unlucky person can become a lucky person. How is that possible? Find out here.
The pursuit of happiness is not just a wonderfully beautiful movie. The pursuit of happiness is also something that guides each of us through everyday life. It influences our decisions and shapes our goals.
But while some people are lucky, others experience one misfortune after another. How can that be? Fate? If we believe science, these coincidences do not exist.
According to new studies from the fields of psychology and neuroscience, there is more to the saying: "Everyone is the architect of his own happiness" than we sometimes think. According to this, we ourselves can influence whether we are happy or not.
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Happiness can be learned: This is how to be happy!
The fact that our brain changes permanently and constantly even in adulthood is one of the latest findings in science. In fact, we ourselves can influence the changes in our favor.
Welcome to the 21st century: Our brain uses filters
Who would have thought that. Nowadays, nothing works without filters :D Only our brain works a little more savvy than various social media platforms. Because these filters play a very important role for us.
Every day we are exposed to a gigantic number of stimuli. Stand in an airport or in Times Square in New York - you can feel this flood of sensory impressions. What would happen if we had to process them all?
Well, for one thing, we would need a much larger brain. On the other hand, we would probably not be able to live, since we would have to sort and prioritize all impulses according to importance. This task is taken over by the consciousness.
It selects important and unimportant information. Thus, only information that is relevant for us enters our conscious mind. And this is exactly the catch: What is relevant or irrelevant for us, we decide ourselves.
Hello perception, you crazy thing
Remember. Was there ever anything you really wanted? Maybe a beige scooter. How many people actually have such a scooter?! Or you found out that your ex-boyfriend now lives in the same district. And he was just everywhere.
You see, perception can be strained in both directions. We want to have something and it's suddenly everywhere. We don't want to see someone and probably constantly stumble upon a doppelganger that really looks quite similar to him.
The truth: Just because you decided to focus on the scooter (we'll stick with the pleasing example), doesn't automatically allow more beige scooters. We put our perception, our filter, on it.
This closes the circle with the filters. Because our brain thinks: "Attention, scooter sighted" is super important for us. So we get this info. Ever been afraid to walk in dog excrement? Better not pay attention to it ;)
What do dog poop, scooters, ex-boyfriends have to do with being happy?
Of course, that depends a lot on your sense of humor. But the basic point is this. You are not only what you eat. You are also what you think. And you think what you focus your attention on.
For example, if you think, "I'll never meet anyone at the club," the likelihood of meeting someone is rather low. Why is that? Because your brain, your perception, is completely designed to confirm you.
So you will not have the charisma of a bond girl. Rather, you will appear insecure and not very self-confident to others. Your counterpart also perceives this unconsciously and so you probably won't even catch his eye. You can stare as much as you like (don't do it!).
You can already tell! We land directly at the notorious "self-fulfilling prophecy". And of course, the foundation for your existence is laid here as well. So: are you lucky or unlucky?
What makes lucky people tick
Happy people do one thing above all: they are positive. Nagging? Whine? "It's always the others' fault?", "Something like this always happens to me?" - Such things probably don't even occur in their normal linguistic repertoire.
Instead, they focus on what is good. They are honestly delighted by small things. They are excited and interested like children. They expect great things to happen. And that's exactly what their brain is wired for.
And this insane device in our head does the following: When we experience a feeling, it stores it. It links the associated experience. And a neuronal network is already spinning.
The more often we experience certain situations and the stronger our feelings are, the more connections are created. While other, unused neuronal connections become fewer. It's a bit like exercising a muscle.
Happy hormones for being happy: Nothing but chemistry
This may destroy mysterious-romantic notions of being happy. But being happy is simply pure chemistry. But the bottom line is that it is not so important if it brings a smile to our lips. :)
Imagine you get up tomorrow morning and the sun is shining. Depending on whether you live in Hamburg or at Lake Constance, this is a matter of course ;). Instead of accepting it, try to perceive it once. How fantastic is that actually?
You could see how the city shines in the light. How patterns of shadows are projected onto paths. How the air smells. And how the sun feels on your skin. You could put down the phone and take conscious breaths instead.
What happens then? Of course, your neuronal positive connections are already totally well developed. Your brain immediately releases messenger substances that make it easy for you to be happy. The best known are endorphins, serotonin or dopamine.
Being happy: a question of training
We stick to the unromantic idea of happiness. Because, unfortunately, it doesn't come around. In the form of your dream man, the best friend with ice cream or damn fancy new shoes.
That's also really nice, but it certainly won't change the general mood in the long term. So it's a matter of training. Step by step, new neuronal networks can be built up, which throw around happiness hormones super fast.
So the best news is: You have it in your own hands to be happy. And even better: You can get out of any negative spiral, even if that may not be imaginable right now.
All you need are new habits. That sounds easier than it is, it's true. But just being aware that things can be different changes things. And little by little, you can adjust your perspective on life.
The 11 best tips: Finally be happy
First of all: Consumption is not, even if advertising so often suggests this to us. At the moment of purchase, our reward center is active, that's true. But the level doesn't last long. Even winning the lottery only catapults us onto cloud nine for about 6 months.
Means, who wants to be happy, must change something in the long term. In order to be able to establish this beautiful feeling in his life. Since everyone feels happiness with something different, there is no patent remedy. Nevertheless, here you will find some suggestions. :)
1. learn to be mindful
Especially mindfulness is totally popular at the moment. And there's a good reason for that. In our fast-paced times, we lack a sense of the now. We are far too little in the moment. Mindfulness is simply being aware of what you are doing.
When you eat, you eat. You don't watch YouTube videos on the side. You eat. And you perceive the colors of your food. How the consistency is on the tongue. And you taste individual ingredients.
This works just as well when you walk your dog. Talking to your friend. Or playing with a child. Be there. Stay consciously in the moment and notice how it feels. It has been proven that this reduces negative neuronal connections.
2. speak positively to be happy
Language is totally important. Because it expresses what we think. The best-known example is the half-full water glass. Or even the half-empty one. It doesn't make any difference at all. But it shows whether you are in a positive mood or not.
If you get caught in a heavy rainstorm, you might say, "I hope I don't get sick." Or you might say, "Great, I'll stay healthy." You might choose your words carelessly. But your brain is there all the time, responding.
However, positive speech does not only refer to inner monologues. It's also about how you present yourself to the outside world. How you talk about other people. Or how you react to situations.
3. meditation helps to rebuild the brain
That sounds a bit technical. But if you like to interrupt your usual action-reaction pattern, then by all means meditate. Similar to mindfulness training, you learn to live in the now.
Meditation also has a positive effect on how we deal with stress. We learn to switch off. No longer let negative stress get to us. We get rid of self-sabotage. We create new patterns of behavior.
These 15 minutes of sitting still have enormous effects on our brain and our well-being. If you want to learn more about it, click here: Meditate daily: This is what really happens in your brain.
4. practice gratitude
Far too often we think that we only need something to be happy. We lack the right partner. The right job. We still need that dress. Or we still need to lose 5 kilos.
In truth, this is complete nonsense. Because, as we know: Truth comes from within. And everything you need, you already have. Take a look around! The other things are just the icing on the cake.
To be happy in the long run, it helps to practice gratitude every day. Take a few minutes every day and just be grateful for everything you already have in your life. This will also help to realign the filter in the future :)
5. move regularly
People who exercise regularly or are active are happier. This is nothing new. After all, the positive effect on well-being of sports or an active life was confirmed a long time ago.
Nevertheless, it is astonishing how great the influence is. The relapse rate for depression, for example, is less than 10% if patients have exercised regularly during therapy. The normal rate is just under 40%!
That's because our reward center is active during and after sports. And our brain just throws feelings of happiness around. And if you experience this regularly, you automatically strengthen the neural network. You know what happens next :)
6. great goals help to be happy
Most of the time we change for two reasons. For great pain or for great goals. How will you ever reach for the stars if your goal for the day is to not miss the subway?
We should allow ourselves the luxury of setting the highest goals in every area of life. That's not megalomaniacal. It's motivating, inspiring. Working towards beautiful goals releases quite a lot of positive energy.
And of course, it shifts our focus away from the feeling of "I'm not worth it" to "I can achieve anything". You will see how many doors this opens and how many other great experiences you can have as a result.
7. cultivate your friendships
A finding from happiness research: the quality of our relationships have a huge impact on our mood and well-being. Every social bond is at stake here.
Man is a social being. He needs people in his environment. And he needs beneficial, loving and harmonious relationships. That's why you should always give your loved ones a huge chunk of attention.
Call your old friend from school again. Make a date with your mom for a short trip together. Pay your colleague a sincere compliment. And tell your husband again how irreplaceable he is to you.
8. find inspiring people
If you want to be happy, you should surround yourself with people who are. Remember: you are always the average of the 5 people who surround you. If you're thinking, "Oh shit!", it's time to expand your social circle.
You don't have to send your snivelling girlfriend into the desert. And you don't have to avoid your melancholic colleague. But find friends who carry just as much positive energy through life. Because that's contagious.
If you are now asking yourself: How should I do this? Then take another look at your big goals. You always wanted to travel alone? Then now is the right time. And you will be amazed how many like-minded people there are. :)
9. see the positive in every situation
Well, the suburban train is late again? Your laptop gives up the ghost? You lose your orientation while walking? No need to get upset. Because every unexpected situation holds new possibilities.
That way you can take a deep breath before the commuter train takes you back to the office. You've always wanted to try out the cozy Internet café anyway. And anyway, who knows what beautiful new corners you'll get to know. :)
Before you lose your cool, always ask yourself: what's the point of me getting angry about it now. On the one hand, a lot of negative stress. And for another, certainly not a constructive solution.
Little Tip:
Try to find 5 reasons in stupid situations what is great about it. What it brings new opportunities for. This helps to look at things in a new, somewhat nicer light. And surely you know the saying: Everything happens for a reason. :)
10. be authentic to be able to be happy
Sometimes we ourselves don't really know who we really are. Constantly fulfilling other expectations, adapting or subordinating ourselves distorts and warps our self-image. In the process, we often neglect what actually makes us who we are.
Of course, it is important to adhere to certain norms of society. However, you are allowed to be yourself more often. You find something funny, but no one else makes a face? It doesn't matter! Just laugh when you feel like it. By the way, this in turn releases happiness hormones ;)
So just dare to show who you really are. Stand by your feelings and honestly say what's on your mind. Live what you feel like. That makes you free and happy!
11. be good to your body
How often we ignore what the body is asking for. Be sure to give your body the attention it deserves. After all, it drags us through life and forgives soo soo much.
So get enough sleep. The regeneration phase is incredibly important for your body. If you allow yourself enough sleep, you not only support your muscles and organs. The brain also reacts by shrinking the amygdala, our fear center.
And yes, you are also what you eat. So pay attention to your diet! Because it is not only closely related to our bikini figure, but also to our well-being. So treat yourself to fat-free, sugar-free and nutrient-rich foods. You can find many great recipes and more background information on this blog. :)
Our conclusion:
Being happy can be learned. And so should we. Because happiness isn't going to knock on the door with a bouquet of flowers and say, "Hello, here I am at last. Sorry I'm a few years late."
So let's take it into our own hands. And practice being happy. If you make some of our tips a habit, then you will see how quickly successes occur. And that really everyone can be happy. :)
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