Do you also fail to put your New Year's resolutions into practice? Do you fail after just a few days? Then you've come to the right place. These are the main reasons why your resolutions vanish into thin air and this can help.
As the year draws to a close, you may be thinking about the resolutions you made at the beginning of the year. And then you're a little disappointed when, once again, you didn't achieve them. You're not alone in that.
Research shows that only 8 % of people actually achieve their New Year's resolutions. That's a pretty low percentage considering how many people actually make New Year's resolutions. According to surveys, it should be around 75 % of all people.
Why are we so bad at keeping New Year's resolutions? We start with the best of intentions, maybe even continue with our fitness or savings measures for a few weeks, but we just can't seem to keep them.
We all have good New Year's resolutions and are motivated and excited about all the positive changes we'd like to make.
But New Year's resolutions, like any goal or positive change we strive for in our lives, can be difficult to achieve and follow through on.
I recently read an article by psychologist Gabrielle McCorry. She works for a digital company that helps people find a suitable psychologist.
If you're one of the 8 % of people who can keep their resolutions every year, then you don't need to read on now. But if you're like the rest of us mere mortals and have trouble sticking to New Year's resolutions for more than a week, then you've come to the right place.
The main reasons we fail to keep our New Year's resolutions
1) Maybe you choose the wrong words
Surprisingly, the way we phrase our goals and the words we use can actually have an impact on whether we will achieve them.
First, delete the word "should" when setting goals and replace it with "will."
The word "should" often reminds us of commitments we have not kept and obligations we have not fulfilled.
Lifestyle coach Erin Falconer writes in her book, How to Get Sh*t Done, that the word "should" is not a good idea when setting goals because it is often associated with guilt, shame and lack of resolve.
Moreover, phrases like "must" and "should" fall under the same category as "should" because they do not force us to achieve our goals.
Also, delete the word "soon" because it does not require a specific and measurable outcome. Replace "soon" with a time frame or specific date, e.g., "I will be able to run 5K without stopping by April 30."
2) Maybe you set unrealistic goals for yourself
If you never seem to achieve your resolutions, you should consider what your goals are and whether they are realistic. It has been proven that we are more committed to our goals if we believe they are achievable.
At the risk of sounding like we're giving you a course on goal setting, let's get back to basics.
Set SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed). The most important thing is that they are achievable. So if you set goals like "I'm going to save 1 million euros this year," even though you don't earn anywhere near that much for the whole year, that's an unrealistic goal. While it's nice to be optimistic, it's important to be realistic.
The same goes for fitness goals: If you've never run before and set your sights on running a marathon, that's achievable, but perhaps it would be more realistic to run a half marathon instead.
Also, avoid goals like "I will exercise more" because they are not measurable and there is no concrete outcome you can achieve.
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3) The false hope syndrome
Again, it's about setting unrealistic goals and inflated expectations that make it easy to back out if you don't come close to achieving them.
Overly ambitious resolutions can lead to giving up without even having started because the goals are not feasible.
If you have to set big goals, make a plan for how to achieve them. Break the goal down into smaller, practical, and more realistic tasks that you can tackle each day.
Take a cue from Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg, who once shared his personal resolutions on Facebook and announced he wanted to run 365 miles in a year.
This is equivalent to 10 marathons and may seem like an overly ambitious resolution for most people. However, he later explained that 365 miles is only one mile per day, or about 10 minutes of daily running - very realistic!
4) Too many targets at once
If your New Year's resolutions are longer than the credits of a movie, you may be setting too many goals at once. Too many goals are too overwhelming for our brains, and that means we have a hard time focusing wholeheartedly on all of them.
Instead, choose 3 main goals that you want to give the most attention to. These can come from three key areas of your life, such as fitness, career, and finances. That way, you know you can still accomplish something without running the risk of giving up altogether.
5) Do not wait until the new year
If you find yourself in mid-January already forgetting about your New Year's resolutions, it's not uncommon.
Studies show that 25 % of people abandon their New Year's resolutions within just one week. While the New Year seems like the perfect time - a fresh start, a new year, etc. - but if you make a resolution at this time, you can also fail.
Especially considering what's going on right now - we just got through Christmas and New Year's celebrations, which are usually accompanied by overindulgence in food, alcohol and spending.
And then you try to set big goals like losing weight and exercising after doing the opposite for the past few weeks - that seems to make things even harder!
If you find yourself not keeping your resolutions, just start over.
Remember, whenever we try to change our behavior, we usually fail at least once. Relapse is a normal part of the change process.
So don't be so hard on yourself, just get back on track and start over. You can do it if you are persistent!
That might mean starting at a more opportune time, perhaps when you're back at work and have settled into a routine. That seems like a better foundation for success!
6) Focus on the positive aspects of the change, not the negative ones.
Keeping in mind what went well last week, rather than what went wrong, is more motivating and builds confidence.
Research has shown that noting feelings of success reinforces behavior change and reduces the likelihood of relapse.
In addition, "goal achievers" think positively about achieving their goals.
If you have thoughts like, "I won't be able to lose weight," or "I'll never save enough to put a down payment on a house," then you probably won't be able to either. It's been proven that positive self-talk contributes to more confidence in achieving goals.
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7) Celebrate small successes
Rewarding ourselves for progress toward our goals increases our motivation to keep going.
Consider at what times you want to reward your progress, not just when you feel it's necessary.
Also, make sure that the reward is proportionate to the progress made and consistent with the nature of the goal. For example, an ice cream reward for losing five kilograms is not appropriate.
After all, the reward you choose must have meaning to you, or it probably won't motivate you to keep going.
How about new sportswear or new running shoes?
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