Overcoming heartbreak is not that easy. We have prepared the best tips for you so that you can quickly be happy again after a relationship ends and look forward to the future after the breakup. Put an end to heartbreak!
Maybe you thought it would last forever. The great love of your life. At least that's how it felt at the beginning. And then at some point it didn't. Suddenly it was over.
Or have already seen the end coming. Maybe you are also the one who has drawn a line.
No matter what the circumstances: Breakups are often hard to bear and painful. No matter what the reason was for ending the relationship.
Whatever the end was: Now it's all about overcoming heartbreak. So that you can soon smile again and have plenty of power for everyday life.
Table of contents
Stop feeling sorry for yourself! We show you how you can break out of the negative spiral of thoughts.
Because at this point we hold up an imaginary stop sign! If even perennial single Bridget Jones can overcome her heartbreak and end up spoiled for choice between Hugh Grant, Colin Firth (and Patrick Demspey!!), there's still hope. ;)
How to overcome your heartbreak
Even though you may not believe it now, heartbreak is worth it. You can reinvent yourself in and after this phase, get to know your needs and become a new person.
How best to maneuver through this difficult phase of life?
We will now show you how you can overcome heartbreak and use the pain of separation to start anew.
1. first at a distance
It doesn't help. Someone wants to break up. That is a serious fact. In order to cope with the coming heartbreak, it won't do any good if you continue and frantically try to maintain contact.
Through social media, the ex-partner is available everywhere. The temptation is great to continue to participate in his or her life.
Before you waste your time on pointless spying and just keep on getting worn out by it, keep a strict no-contact policy.
Cut all ties with the former partner. Delete contact numbers, cancel social media friendships and focus on yourself.
Love acts like a drug and its absence like withdrawal. To break out of this vicious circle, you must remain abstinent.
No matter what the ex-partner is doing or whether a new love has already moved into his life.
This is no longer your business.
If you want to overcome heartbreak, it does no good to keep the person who triggers it in your life.
2. allow all feelings to fight heartache
Forget all the platitudes à la: "You have to be strong now". That is completely out of place and unhealthy! What you really need to do is let it all out. Accept all your emotions as they come. And allow them!
Heartbreak is an expression of your deep feelings. Your partner has left you or you had to end the relationship.
Admit to yourself that this will throw you off track at first and that you won't be able to function as usual for a while.
You get to whine, crawl under the covers, play the same songs over and over, and let a lawn of used tissues grow around you.
Embrace these conflicting feelings of pain, anger and disillusionment! They are the first step on the way out of this valley of misery and help you to overcome separation.
The loss of a loved one hurts. In this first phase it is right to allow the pain of separation. In doing so, you neither make yourself small nor vulnerable.
Breaking up has torn a huge black hole in your soul from which all the bitter memories you want to hold on to are rising up. That's okay! It's your right to be weak and pathetic now, and to feel sorry for yourself for a change.
When you feel like it, cry unrestrainedly. When you're angry, punch a pillow. Or throw a plate on the floor. You have to scream? Always out with it! As loud and long as you can! It doesn't matter "what the others think".
Unfortunately, in order to overcome heartbreak, you must first let it take hold of you.
3. find your place of reflux against heartbreak
And he is preferably not in your common bed. Especially if you live together, then take tear out. A friend's couch is much better anyway. You'll find peace best when you're not surrounded by memories.
Or just back home to mom. It doesn't matter. Your parents are happy and can cheer you up well. Grab some clothes for a few days and get out of the house. A change of location works wonders for overcoming lovesickness.
4. talk is silver, writing is gold
It's good to talk when no one is listening. Because it allows you to say everything that's on your mind without running the risk of offending anyone. Go ahead and do that! And do it with a piece of paper and a pen or on your laptop.
Really poke your former love in the head.
Write to her about how you always hated it when the leftovers settled in the corners of his mouth.
That you have always found that he has no style at all.
That sometimes his kisses felt like the wet fingers of a frog and that you're actually glad you don't have to hear his eternal nagging anymore.
Get all the bad stuff together and add to it.
Give your anger an outlet by spreading it out in front of you. Your imaginary counterpart won't get to read any of it. In the end, you can simply tear up this diatribe or delete the message before sending it.
Diary entries can also help you overcome heartbreak. Thoughts that you put out of your mind by putting them down on paper as words make room for new, more beautiful ideas.
5. goodbye flab - why you should pay attention to your diet
It's often the case that you can't get a bite down at first anyway. Unfortunately, the turbulent circumstances and the grief also ensure that you reach for quick, unhealthy food.
For the already weakened body, this is an additional ordeal. You feel tired and flabby and the unhealthy food makes you feel even more miserable.
Complete abstinence from food also takes its toll on your strength. As hard as it is, make sure you eat regularly and healthily and drink enough fluids.
Fruit and vegetables are the best option. Chocolate and a consolation portion of ice cream are allowed. But be careful not to fall completely into this unhealthy lifestyle.
Overcoming heartbreak, for that you need a strong and healthy body. When you feel good and satisfied with yourself, it is easier to overcome the breakup and look forward to a new future.
6. talk yourself dry - talk, talk and talk again
Heartbreak loses a lot of its power when you have someone to talk to. Pick up the phone and tell for the hundredth time how much this has hurt you.
It's not so much that you want to have an opinion. Rather, the interlocutor should just listen to you.
You are allowed to unpack everything, and you are also welcome to be confirmed in the process. If you notice that your listener is getting too involved, you can back off again.
Make it clear when you want an outside perspective and when you just want to be heard.
In the course of such conversations you will also learn a lot about yourself and understand why you had to end the relationship.
If you want to overcome heartbreak, the insights will help you to do things differently in your next partnership. You'll understand what you no longer want and can't accept in the long run, and you'll be able to fix yourself and your next partner in advance. This can save you further disappointments.
7. actually he doesn't suit me at all - realize what works better without him
Out with the buddies every Friday while you sit at home waiting for him?
Always the argument about the movie selection for the cozy TV evening?
Especially at the beginning of a relationship or when we have then developed deep feelings, we tend to overlook the mistakes of the partner.
Maybe his messiness has been bugging you for a long time and you only respected out of love, which actually made you angry all the time.
If you want to get over a breakup, it can help to grab your former partner by their faults.
Imagine how he always drives you up the wall with his annoying quirks. The socks he never rolled up.
The caustic ringtone of his cell phone or that he keeps using your beautifully decorated dresser as a shelf for his bits and pieces.
You won't have to do all that to yourself now. Overcoming heartbreak also means taking off your rose-colored glasses and looking at your former partner objectively.
8. accept the separation
Over is over. There is no "maybe, soon, later." Draw a clean line and leave the relationship behind you. That way you can process the breakup and get over it. And we think you deserve to be happy!
9. get rid of stuff when overcoming heartbreak
A relationship is rarely without compromise. Which ones did you make? The goofy Star Wars figures in the living room? Flat shoes so you don't tower over him? Hiking jackets in a partner look?
It's time to say goodbye to it. In every possible area! Rearrange yourself. Buy that pair of high heels he always thought were awful! He was lactose intolerant? Sounds like an evening of cheese fondue! :D
His jacket is still hanging on the coat rack? Every time your eyes fall on it, the next crying fit shakes you?
Then get rid of it!
Put your money where your mouth is and set a deadline for him to pick up his personal belongings.
If he lets it pass, you don't have to take it into consideration. Pack everything in a box and put it in the bulky waste if necessary.
The memories of your ex-partner will haunt you again and again. You don't need to have them in front of you all the time.
Shared photos? You don't have to burn them or tear them up, even if that can help you overcome your heartbreak.
But it's also enough if you take them off and bury them deep in a box. Maybe in the cellar with it. Then you can look at them again sometime and remember the good times without immediately falling back into mourning.
A piece of furniture that you bought together? That, too, is now a piece of the past that you can leave behind.
Overcoming heartbreak works best with a fresh start.
10. overcome heartbreak: Off to the hairdresser
The walk after a breakup usually leads to the hairdresser. It doesn't matter if it's cliché or not. If you need this change, then treat yourself to it. And you'll see, you'll feel better afterwards. :)
11. distraction, movement and adventure - from talking to doing
If you want to overcome heartbreak, at some point it will also be time to get out of yourself.
Go out and socialize, meet up with friends, and just have fun again without even thinking about the breakup.
Anything that stimulates the production of happy hormones should be on your to do list now.
Sport is a real frustration killer. It helps to relieve stress, clear the mind and releases lots of happy hormones.
It doesn't matter which sport you choose. The only important thing is that it suits you and you don't have to force yourself to do it.
A positive side effect of regular sports insoles is also a firm and healthy body in which you feel comfortable and exude self-confidence.
A spontaneous trip can also help you overcome heartbreak. As a single person, you no longer have to take anyone into consideration or compromise.
Book a short trip to a place you've dreamed of for a long time. Whether alone or with friends is a matter of type. Do what you enjoy and what brings you to other thoughts.
12. and now only you count!
How wonderful is it not to have to take anyone into consideration anymore? Grab your girls and take that long-awaited weekend trip. Finally try Pilates at the new studio around the corner. Buy fresh flowers for yourself on a regular basis.
Book a vacation, learn a new language. Join a volleyball group. It's your time. You have all the opportunities. You just have to take them. Enjoy life and be open to new experiences. It will be worth it. Promise!
Tension or pain? A massage can help! Take the time to pamper yourself extensively. Make an appointment at the beauty salon and let yourself be pimped. New hairstyle, new outfit, everything that does you good and makes you feel beautiful is now at the top of the list. That dress is way too expensive and extravagant? Flashy make-up has never been your thing?
Now it's time for change and to try something new.
Of course, you shouldn't go completely overboard and spend money you may not have.
But any endeavor that caresses your soul and body and lifts your self-esteem is just the thing now to help you overcome heartbreak and feel good about yourself again.
Your charisma will thank you and the guy who broke your heart will be furious when he sees what he lost in you.
13. cope with heartbreak through new rituals
When a relationship has ended and the worst heartache has been dealt with, you have to realign yourself. That means finding things and activities that are fun even when you're single.
Now you can do everything that you neglected during the time of togetherness.
Arrange regular girls' nights out. From now on, you'll just meet for brunch. Going to the cinema to watch the schmaltziest movie of the year? Now you can do that again without anyone spoiling your pleasure.
Even a dance class, yoga or regular cooking with friends will fill the void left by your former partner.
You don't need a man at your side to enjoy life. Take the great sides that the single life offers you, and savor them, from now on only counts what you enjoy alone and lazy compromises were once.
14. test your market value
The last thing on your mind right now is a new partner? Don't be so hard on yourself! It doesn't have to be the next long-term relationship, and a playful flirtation never hurt anyone.
It will do you good to realize that there are men out there who would gladly carry you on their hands, where your ex-partner didn't appreciate you anymore.
The motto is: nothing must, everything can. With new self-confidence and charisma, you should also dare to return the smile of a party acquaintance, perhaps to strike up a conversation later.
Clear interest and compliments are balm for your battered self-esteem and show you that you won't die an old maid just because your boyfriend broke up with you.
Go out and accept every invitation! And if something is brewing, you can always pull the emergency brake so that no one is harmed in the game of love.
Overcoming heartbreak also means allowing new experiences to happen.
What heartbreak feels like
When we get dumped or have to end a relationship, it may feel like we can never get over the pain of separation.
Scientists compare heartbreak to the trauma of losing a close person through death or illness.
When a relationship falls apart, hopes and life dreams are shattered.
The person with whom we imagined a future turns out to be an illusion. After the final parting, he often leaves behind a pile of broken pieces that we have to laboriously pick up and put back together again.
After the end of a relationship you feel empty, drained, tired and exhausted. At the same time, you may have insane anger and suppressed aggression inside you. Or you may just be confused and endlessly sad. Usually all at the same time or in close succession. An emotional chaos par excellence. A roller coaster ride that only seems to have low points.
If you're not careful, you'll find yourself in a negative spiral of thoughts in no time. Self-pity ("Why is it always me?") and pessimism ("I'll never be happy again!") are the result.
Heartbreak is a normal reaction to the drastic experiences of a breakup. In order to cope with such a heartbreak and to grow from it, there is no patent remedy, but there are a lot of tips and suggestions that have proven themselves in practice.
You can no longer think clearly, your appetite is swept away and somehow you end up in a deep black hole from which there is no escape. Or? Yes, you can escape!
And that is when you start to want to overcome heartbreak. Because in the first place is the processing. To deal consciously and actively with heartbreak means to emerge strengthened from this phase of life.
By the way, did you know that most couples break up just before Christmas and during the Easter vacations?
What heartbreak is in the first place
Lovesickness seems to be a widespread disease. If you ask your friends, everyone will have had to deal with it at some point.
Accordingly, the tips and advice to overcome heartbreak will be varied.
The fact is: everyone has to find their own way of dealing with it and everything that is said are only suggestions and guidelines.
Coping with bad heartbreak means that your body and soul enter a state of emergency. A roller coaster of feelings of sadness, fear, helplessness and powerlessness, and even anger and hatred sweep through your life, which you had just tidied up.
You feel worthless and weak and the worst part is that for the moment it seems like it will never stop.
Broken heart syndromes are what scientists and doctors call this bad pain, and they prove that it doesn't just affect your soul life. Heartbreak also has measurable effects on your body.
Eating and sleeping disorders, susceptibility to illness because the immune system and happiness hormone levels plummet, a wide variety of complaints such as stomach or skin irritations, even shortness of breath and panic attacks.
That's why it's so important that you actively work on trying to overcome heartbreak. It's no use denying it or helplessly settling into it.
Time and self-determined action will help you to overcome the separation and come out stronger.
Why we women have such a hard time overcoming heartbreak
Often we women have to struggle more and longer with grief. We are more likely to fall into depressive phases, doubt ourselves more and generally need longer to be able to overcome the heartbreak.
But that also has its good sides.
While men get over the breakup by letting a new partner into their lives, women are more willing and able to really work through the breakup.
They allow the pain, communicate their feelings and reconstruct behavior patterns. This takes time. That's why it seems that women take longer to cope with heartbreak. However, through the many stages of processing, we also emerge stronger from these times of grief and grow in our personalities.
Our conclusion
Even though separations are a difficult time. They offer the opportunity to grow, to break away from old habits and to look forward. And as bad as the time seems, it inevitably brings us much closer to ourselves. Because when we let the feelings and are ready for change, wonderful things often come to light. :)
To browse further:
* Advertising & affiliate links: Our website is financed by advertising and affiliate links. As a partner of linked stores (e.g. Amazon) we earn from qualified sales.
Read more